John Carter Movie Review

9.5 Overall Score
Story: 9/10
Visuals & Sound: 9/10
Nerding Out: 10/10

Attachment to characters.

Soundtrack isn't completely memorable.

John Carter…John Carter….John Carter…..tisk…tisk…tisk….Shame on you Disney.

Hey Movie Nerds Austin here, don’t jump to any conclusions based on my thought above.  My wife and I based on the recommendation from my father saw John Carter a few days after “The Hunger Games” premiere.  While sitting in the theater I turned to my wife and said, “Do you know what this is about?”  She responded by saying, “Nope, you?” I didn’t have a clue honestly.  The only thing I heard about the movie was fans were so mad at Disney for the terrible trailers they re-edited better versions using the same footage.  So my wife and I put on our 3D glasses and sat in ignorance, awaiting a spectacle or a disaster.

The movie starts with John Carter’s Nephew learning of his Uncle’s untimely death.  Apparently John Carter abruptly devoted his life to archeology, obsessed with finding… something.  As such John Carter wrote in his will that only his Nephew could read his secretive diary.  This allowed the movie to introduce John Carter and his story to us through his Nephew’s eyes, as he reads his Uncle’s diary. I have to tell you as a Super Nerd it really pulls you in allowing the story to unravel as it’s revealed to the Nephew, and the story is awesome!

John is an old Confederate Officer from the post-Civil War era, actively pursued by the US Government to lead a group of Union soldiers.  Carter wants nothing to do with it, and is willing to go to any extreme, to include the humorous, to avoid forced “service” to Uncle Sam.  It is at this point Carter, who is on the run, hides in some mystical cave in which the local Indians tribes avoid at all costs.  Well it just so happens that this cave is a gateway between worlds, used by an alien race called the Thurns to jump from planet to planet using a special device they carry. While hiding in this cave a Thurn stumbles upon John Carter and he accidently jumps to Mars taking the alien’s special device.

When Carter arrives on Mars we learn its real name is Barsoom and why it’s desolate in our day.  Apparently, Thurns have been orchestrating the demise of planets throughout the universe to expand their own species.  But the Thurns aren’t stupid; instead of spending all the resources to capture a planet through force, they destroy a world’s inhabitants by organizing civil wars.   Well just prior to John Carter’s arrival the Thurns have churned up a huge civil war between two humanoid cities, and a third green alien race called Tharks.After John Carter awakes on Barsoom he finds himself in a weaker gravity, and having grown up on Earth’s heavier gravity his muscles seem to exert super strength.  The three different sides of Barsoom’s civil war view John Carter as a Super Soldier, and either want to recruit him or kill him.  But John Carter having just finished one Civil War on Earth, which destroyed his family, has no interest in joining Barsoom’s Civil War and just wants to go home.

 But during Carters stay he falls in love with a princess of Mars, and with this the audience is setup for heart break. With John Carter disrupting the Thurn’s plans for Barsoom they send him back to Earth without the device needed to return to Mars.  With Carter trapped on Earth he begins to obsessively search for another “gateway” cave, hoping to find another “planet jumping device.”  I don’t want to tell you what happens next…hehehe.  But I will tell you both the Nephew reading the diary, and my wife and I were on the edge of our seats freaking out in excitement!If you were anything like me you have no idea what this John Carter movie is about going into it, and that’s the short coming of Disney.  They took a great story and gave it terrible marketing, just completely threw it under the bus.  If John Carter was a freshly cooked, buttered up lamb chops, and was left in the middle of the forest as your dinner, just who would get there first, you or the wolves?  Well the wolves would be coming in from all directions well before you even caught a whiff. Though the dinner was originally cooked for you the wolves ripped it apart, and by the time you found your dinner it was no longer appetizing. This is what happened to John Carter.

John Carter is for Sci-Fi Fans, and they will love this movie. I can understand why mainstream Movie Critics ripped up this movie; its plot is a little difficult to understand in parts…if you’re not a Super Nerd.  But seriously this movie rocked, was totally fun, and worth owning in my opinion.  My wife who loved the Hunger Games books and movie even says John Carter was epically better.  In fact my wife and I have found some strange spider walking on our ceiling, and we’ve decided to name him John Carter….hehehe.It’s a real shame that Disney screwed John Carter, because Sci-Fi fans wanting more are probably not going to get it.  My wife has decided to start reading the books, and has finished the first two.  She says the books are a little different, but there are elements changed in the movie she likes better, and vice versa.


Author: Austin View all posts by
Austin: Host of, "I Am A Super Nerd Podcast!"

Published on May 9, 2012

One Comment on "John Carter Movie Review"

  1. Alex
    Alex June 18, 2012 at 2:05 pm -

    Great review

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